Christmas times.

So the first thing I open....the missionary handbook/discussion book and all the missionary pamphlets.

that amazes me. I had figured my parents had finally accepted the fact that I wasn't going on a mission and that I just didn't want to be involved with the church right now.

I can accept this as a gift on any other day, but they wrapped it up and put it under that tree...like that's going to make me ignore it and forget about it any less.

Well the rest of Christmas wasn't too bad. I got a new tent and I can't wait to go camping soon, it's been way too long.

Anyways work on Christmas was crazy insane, But I didn't have to close so it was ok.

Also I talked to Chelsea Christmas night.
Fist phone conversation since we broke up.
It was really nice. It wasn't awkward and it was very enjoyable.
It also sorta set in stone the realization that do need to stay apart for a while.

My Lame Little Holiday Tune

It seems Christmas is finally upon us.
Is it bad of me to have just barely felt in the Christmas mood?
Anyways, I've only done shopping for a couple people. everyone else might just get Christmas late this year.... maybe it'll be postponed until the 10th of January.

Anyways it kinda suck that I work Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day, but at least I don't have to close on Christmas, I open so it'll be nicer.

Also it's phone time. Hopefully by tomorrow my phone will be up and running. That'd be nice.

Friend?

So I have this friend.
I've known her for years. And over the past two years or so we've gotten a lot closer, especially the last six months.
She has confessed feelings for me recently.
And I don't know what to do.
I care for her a lot, and while a relationship with her would be nice, I'm against anything too serious right now. I need to not be in a steady relationship and I need to date other people. I want to date lots of people. But I find myself wanting to spend more time with her.

I also feel guilty, because I just ended a relationship with an amazing girl. I ended it because it had gotten very serious and I'm not ready for that. To be thinking of someone else so soon frightens me.
In fact it makes me think of myself as an incredible asshole.

I'm not in love, that should count for something I guess. And while a relationship with this girl would be amazing, I can see some major complications sometime near September.

I would love to live without regret, I don't think my type of personality will allow it.
And while it's true I wouldn't change my past if I could, I still regret things.

Merry Christmas to me?

So... my Aunt gave my mom her old phone, and my mom gave my sister her old phone so my sister gave me the piece of crap that's falling apart that she had.
So I probably won't be buying a new phone for a bit. But in a few days here I will activate the "new" piece of junk I have obtained.
That way I can text people again. I kinda miss it.
Also my manager at work can stop complaining that sh can't get a hold of me whenever she wants too.
For some reason I have no sympathy for her. If I wanted her to be able to get a hold of me I'd give her my house phone.
She's super annoying too. I'm getting tired of pretending to be interested in her long boring stories just to be on her good side. But this is a better alternative than slapping her across the face.

On a different note. I chatted with Chelsea just a few minutes ago. It was nice. we played a game of online scrabble and talked.
I miss talking to her.

Missing Myself

I'm tired.
Emoti0naly.

A week now. One long week, and I still don't know what to do.
I don't know if it's wrong.
I don't know if it matters.

I know that it all hurts.

I miss the "me" that had a plan. That had a direction.
I havn't seen him in a long time.

Dreamer

Crazy dream.
There was a large hot tub. And many people I havn't seen in a long time. And then there was singing.
A strangely humorous erotic song about second chances... too bad I can't remember how it went, it wasn't half bad, my subconcious even rhymes. I kinda wish I could write it down...cause I remember the melody.

so...weird

So Awake

Considering my past sleeping problems I've slept a great deal in the past 24 hours.
Enough to get up at 7AM when I don't have to leave until 8:30.

I'd also like to point out that I hate the snow. Not always I guess, but it makes early morning drives a considerable amount less relaxing and more stressful.

Also I'm a little excited for work... I'm going in at 9 and we don't even open until Noon. This means I'll be alone, preping everything for two hours. And when my team does come in, it's only two people. Because it's Tuesday morning, and who on earth goes to see a movie on a snowy Tuesday morning.

A Slow Terrible Day

Work was considerably slower than any other Saturday.
I guess it's because there is actually snow now.

I'm glad I didn't have to stay late though, the rest probably won't get out until 1 AM.
But I have to be back at 9 AM so I can learn early morning prep, so I can open alone on Tuesday because my Manager and both my Supervisors are taking that day off, and for some reason I've become their Go-To Guy for anything Pizza Hut related.

The last 5 of my shifts have been in The New Pizza Hut part of Concessions, which I guess I'm OK with, it's easy busy work and I don't have to deal to much with the guests. Today, though, was pretty terrible. We were incredibly overstaffed so everyone had to come over and notice that I wasn't smiling. It got annoying really fast. I guess I've learned how to put on a pretty good fake smile over the years. Just so happens on the day I can't bring myself to fake a smile my Supervisor decides she needs to hang around me the whole 6 hours.

Chelsea and I broke up last night... it was about 1 in the morning, until about 3:30 I think, I didn't sleep after that, and now I have work again in 9 ish hours and I don't know if I'll be able to sleep or not. I'm exhausted, sure, but I'm having a hard time thinking strait. We were together 1 year and 7 1/2 months... that's not a short amount of time.

About 4 other employees just wouldn't let me be today, every two minutes they had to come see if I was still sad. constantly making stupid joke in efforts to cheer me up, I guess I'm glad they care, but I just wanted to be left alone.
In fact my supervisor pushed so hard to find out what was going on I actually started crying. God, it's been a long time since I've cried in public.

Phone : (

Aparently Travis tried to call me a few times on tuesday... he wanted me to come watch movies with him.
I'm super sad my phone is dead, now I've missed out on four more movies that I could have seen early.

Anyways at least today was payday so I shoud be able to afford a new phone. Hopefully within the next few days.

Sleep deprivations

cWell, I'm not sleeping tonight.
currrently watching a movie at Richies. And I'm going to drive by Chelsea's early in the morning to see if she needs a ride into work. Since I have to go down to the Gateway anyways.

I would call her of course. but my phone died. After more than a year of crap from that stupid piece of technology...I'm ready for a new phone.
However, I'm poor right now so it might be a bit before a new phone comes along.

Also I have to go into work for an hour to learn how to clean the Soft Serve Ice Cream machine. around 11...so no sleep tonight... not untill 1 or 2 in the afternoon at least.

EDIT: 6:01 PM
drove by Chelsea's around 8:10 AM
I knocked a few times, no one answered.
I ended up crashing around 10:30. Which means I didn't go into work, I'm going to have to bribe Matt to let me out of this one again.

Tired

I love music.
I've decided that as soon as I get money again I'm going to start updating my music collection as much as I update my movie collection.

Also my goal of having enough movie posters to one day decorate any and every room that I please is well on it's way to becoming a reality.

It's hard, at work, for Team Members to get decent movie posters, but as a Team Lead I've already gotten in good with most of the managers and a couple projectionists. Just a week ago, after watching two Dry Runs (movies that don't come out for at least a week and up to a month) with by buddy The Projectionist, I went up to the booth to help him get packed up to leave and he gave me one of the most coveted Stand Ups from that year. It was cool, and I might have rubbed in someones face.
Anyways it's a six foot by four foot standie from Nick and Norah's Infinate Playlist.

Also rumors are flying around again that a Team Lead Box Office position will soon be available and that a Projectionist might be quitting in the near future. It's very rare for either of these posotions to open up this soon after each have been filled. But here's hoping.

Concessions

I got promoted at the theatre,
I agreed to move back to concessions and they made me a Team Lead.
Only a .75 cent raise, and a lot more work that in the Box Office... but I needed the money.
I'm not entirely sure if it was worth it, but I have been getting WAY more hours. which will be good in the long run.