Cabin in the Woods

Dear Everybody in the Whole World,
I had a chance to see the movie "Cabin in the Woods" early. And it was one of the meat moments in my life. I highly recommend this movie to everyone. This is easily the best movie I've seen this year, and possible the best horror/thriller I've seen EVER.
 I was drawn to this movie as it was produced by Joss Whedon, and we all know I basically worship him. Not only that, but the movie was written by the same guy who wrote Cloverfield...and that movie was AWESOME!
Cabin in the Woods is brilliant. It's a movie I can't even bring myself spoil for anyone (normally I don't care about spoilers). The movie comes out tomorrow 4/13/12 and you should all go see it! Yes, even those who don't like horror movies should go see it. The film is a brilliant mix of thriller and sci-go AND comedy. With amazon performances by too many actors to name...plus a couple cliche horror performances that are funny.
 Go watch this movie EVEN I you don't like horror films!

UaauzhszigghGauUuuaaaahhhhh!!!!

I'm excited! Yesterday I got an e-mail update saying my package would be here on the 13th instead of the 15th and the package had arrived in Utah last night....it's the 13th now. It's 3:00am....FedEx normally sends their drivers out at 8:00am...and they normally get here around 8:30.........I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep.

Drunkard!!!

Actually, I'm happy that I'm the furthest thing from a drunkard ever. But that didn't stop me from getting drunk last night. I rarely get drunk, last night was the first time I'd been drunk in over a year. Sure I drink on occasion, in fact I often keep a few beers in my fridge just in case I need a relaxing night in from of a movie with a cold one. The party last night was awesome, it was definitely my kind of party. It was small, there were only about 8 of us, and I knew everyone there, one guy I had only met once before, but it wasn't hard to only have to meet one person. We all drank and chatted very comfortable with each other, it wasn't crowded or hard to feet around anywhere in the house, also there was no shitty music or half naked dancing....which, as awesome as that sounds, I've never participated in. Plus, I didn't drink too much, I drank quite a bit, got drunk, then stopped, didn't puke like some people did : ) My good friend actually got super wasted and puked in the chip bowl right in front of everybody...it was really pretty funny. I've kinda had a long week, partied three times this week, which is three times more than I have the past year. All parties I attended were for my friends who were visiting from out of state. It was super fun though, and I miss them already. Mostly I regret not hanging out with them more when they lived here.

I am awesome at not doing anything.

I just want to announce that I have officially not gotten over my procrastination habits. I have not moved out of my crappy apartment yet. I have not vacuumed said apartment for at least two months. I have not saved any money like I promised myself I would (in fact I ended up putting about 300 bucks on my credit card this Christmas....yay). Also I have not even started making videos documenting my attempt to learn how to cook. Don't worry! I will still do this thing. Just...later...after I finish watching every television show ever made. I got caught by The Big Bang Theaory...and I devoured ALL OF IT. then I watched ALL of Game of Thrones (in less than 12 hours [this is impressive because all of Season 1 of Game of Thrones is about 10 hours long]). Then...How I Met Your Mother. This was a little slow going at first. But I'm most of the way through season 3 now and will very soon be caught up. Along with these...did I mention I bought the whole series collection of MASH...cause I did and it's amazing, so I've been watching lots of that. Then, just a few days ago a friend turned me onto the new British TV show 'Spy', which looks like a British version 'Chuck' ....but better than 'Chuck' because it's British. Anyways I watched an episode of that and now I need to finish it. In fact I've been watching so many damn Tv shows lately I've had very little time for movies....which makes me sad.

Ba (zinga)

Making a video about cooking is hard.
Especially when you've had a migrane for a week strait.
Gonna try real hard to film myself cooking a few different things this weekend.
And I'll probably get a few episodes together before posting any.
So the basic plan is to post the first episode after the new year.

On a totally different note...Christmas shopping sucks. But I just finished up shopping by dropping about 90 bucks on ThinkGeek.com
Booyah!

On an additional side note.
I'm keeping a journal.
Weird right? I've attempted a daily journal before, and it never keeps. I discovered that they were always fake, I figured one day someone else would always read it, soni always wrote what would be cool for someone else to read. But I found an awesome free application for my iPad...and i've been writing in it pretty regularly for a couple months now.
I'm pretty proud of myself, and it's more true to myself because it's password protected. Plus I never go anywhere without my iPad. So it's pretty safe
Double Booyah!

Hmmm...

Thinking about starting a new vlog,
I had the idea a few days a go when a buddy and I were talking about dreams and how you have to write them down right after you wake up or sometimes you just forget them.
So we had the idea to record yourself talking about them. I figure, I mostly fall asleep watching something on my iPad, so when I wake up. It's right there anyway, it would actually be pretty easy to just turn on the camera really quick after waking up and spouting off a few minutes about what I just dreamed about.
The biggest problem I face so far, is the fact that over the last few days I've only had really erotic dreams...nothing actually that noteworthy. Lame..

A Day in the Life of Jason

~WARNING~
I don't hold back. This is who I am. I am not G-Rated.
Seriously, don't keep reading if you want to keep your Image of me as a wonderful boy in your mind.


I woke up to the cat kneading his untrimmed claws on my thigh. I shoved him off the bed. I rolled over and grabbed my iPod to check the time. I was 9:45. Roughly 30 seconds later Trigger (cat) jumped back on the bed and walked straight up to my face to sniff me. I scratched his neck for roughly 0.3 seconds then shoved him away again. I then burried my face in my down pillow (IKEA) and wished I could easily fall back asleep. Trigger then made his way to the area between my legs and curled up in that awkward way cats do. There he lay satisfied for about 2 minutes. Then he got back up. And crawled onto my body. He slowly edged his way towards me until he was up on the back of my neck.
This is where we have the first word of the day. In a deep manly growl I groaned the work "fuck" in a slow drawn out moan. At the same time I quickly rolled over so that Trigger had to jump free of myself and the bed, lest he be squished like a cat under a fat man.

Trigger ran from the room towards his food dish as I grabbed my glasses and iPod and made my way to the bathroom for my morning dump.
After finishing my business and catching up on the news (Twitter and Facebook mostly) I finally went out and fed the cat. For 5 whole minutes he was quite and I was his God.

At this time I turned on my amazing 40" TV, and turned on my girlfriends PS3 which I borrowed because I have a beautiful 40" LCD TV...and she does not. For a split second I battled myself by deciding what movie to watch. Then I lost the battle and started watching an episode of Cheers on Netflix, because Cheers is hardcore, and sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name...okay!?!

at about 10:30 there was a knock on the door and a call to my phone at the same time. It was then I remembered that I promised the upstairs white-trash tenants that they could do laundry this morning. So I unlocked the door and they did that. Guh.

For breakfast I decided to eat some of my roommates bacon...cause that's how we roll. So I cooked bacon. It was kind of like heaven in a frying pan. I then decided I wanted toast with my bacon, but instead of being smart and toasting some bread in the toaster, I put it in the bacon grease coverd pan to toast them that way. Now, I have done this before...but never to the extent of his morning. There was so much grease that two pieces of bread soaked up all that it could, and there was still a lot left over.
Then I ate it. The bacon was wonderful, the first piece of toast...well it was fine, the second.....well I think I died a little, and my throat because thoroughly coated in grease. Naturally I washed it down with a can of Mt. dew And a cup of Chocolate Milk. It was a scary breakfast.

Then I texted my girlfriend naughty things while she was on her lunch break at work. Because of this I started thinking about her naked body, which is awesome btw.

Then my roommate got up and there was more Cheers.

Then around 12:30 the roommate left for work.
At this point I got out my laptop, the browser popped up and then there was DeviantArt, it seems that last night I had fallen asleep browsing DeviantArt, I had a search up for "mermaids" because mermaids are freaking cool and i've been looking for inspiration or some shit like that. Now, DeviantArt is a place where anyone can post anything....so yeah a lot of nudity, which I think is fine. Because let's face it. I'm a guy and breasts are attractive. So as I resumed my browsing of topless mermaids (don't judge, there are worse fantasies), I started thinking about sex again and promplty started imagining all the dirty things I could do to my girlfriend later.

Then I played with my Nintendo 3DS, I updated my system and successfully stopped myself from spending money on new games they updated in the DS store. Then I played Zelda and watched The Roast of Bob Saget on Netflix. This thing was pretty funny.

When my white-trash neighbors finally finished their laundry at 2pm I got inthe shower and then almost trimmed my beard (note: ALMOST...I still need to do this thing).

Then I drove to work. During my drive I listened to the latest Smodcast and thought about sex some more.
I quickly found that I was thirsty, all I had in my car was half a gallon of water which had been sitting in the sun all morning. So I stopped by the McDonalds next to my work and bought one of their new Pineapple Mango Smoothies, which was good, but not amazing.

Then went to work and drank my smoothie.
At work I sat at station 3, right next the printer. Which means two things.
1. Every lazy fuck asks you to hand them their printouts.
2. Everyone who isn't a lazy fuck gets all up in your space and sticks their ass in your face to get their printouts.
Today I was the only male in the Respose Center (except maybe the manager, but we're pretty sure he's either gay, or totally nonsexual, so he doesn't count) this meant that the only non lazy fucks getting their own printouts and sticking their asses in my face were girls.

So then I started thinking about this girls ass...but she's the most annoying person ever. So I stopped.
Then another girl walked past and I thought about her ass for a while. But then I remembered she's super gay. So then I was distracted and started thinking about my girlfriends ass again. Then I got an erection and was forced to turn back towards my desk until it went away.

You know, it made me feel really cool that I only got hard when I thought about my girlfriends ass, and not while I was staring at everyone elses. I rewarded myself by daydreaming about sex for a while.

It was soon after this (oddly enough) that I decided to write this post describing my day in detail.
It's kind of funny to me because just about every day at work I plan my nights in great detail, then I go home and never do what I planned.

At about 4:30pm, while at work. I belched. This was problematic. I'd like you all to promise now that you will never eat bacon then bacon-greased toast and then drink a Pineapple Mango Smoothie, because when you belch after. It's fucking gross.

Then there was more work.
Then work slowed down around 7:30 or so. It was a good night, in the evening there were only a few of us, all cool people. We finished all the work and then sat around and talked about lots of things. Politics, religion, premarital sex, drugs, stupid drug addicts, marriage...things like that. It was nice because we can discuss things like normal people. We can have debates about things we disagree on, but for the most part a lot of us see things eye-to-eye. (Librals)

Then I had a cool idea to text an old buddy and see if we could set up a double date like get-together this weekend cause I havn't see him in forever and I love him also his wife is pretty sweet even though I barely know her. He texted me back, he has to discuss it with his wife first...sigh. But I'm hopefull.

there was more texting with the girlfriend, slightly less sexual this time.

Then suddenly it was 11 pm. I clocked out and promptly (rushed out so I didn't have to be the one to take out the garbage) drove to Wendy's and ate a chicken sammich and a root beer float.

Drove home and listened to more Smodcast while drinking said delicious root beer float.
Got home and the roommate was watching a movie with his friend. The aspect ratio on the DVD player was off, so I obsessed with fixing it for a few minutes while totally interrupting they're special movie time. Then...after a while I gave up, so whatever. It's probably a weird setting that got changed. It'll change it later.

Then I went to my room, where I imediately stripped to my purple boxer briefs and layer in my bed. Whipped out the laptop again, and this time headed to YouTube to listen to The Book of Mormon Musical. I mostly decided to do this because I was in the middle of an odd sort of discussion/debate with a few people on Facebook about it. It seems a few super Mormons (Conservatives) don't like that two really funny fellows can write a well thought out satirical musical about religion (MORMONS).
11 Tony Awards by the way. I don't care if you don't like content. Or if you can't understand poking fun of something you respect but still think is hysterical. Or if you just assume it's mean spirited because your religious newspaper claimed it was even though you never listened to it to see for yourself. I don't care, but don't claim it's no good when it fucking dominated the Tony's.

And that brings us to the end of the day, I'm sure I missed some parts due to the fact that my memory isn't perfect. And that I can't type that much. But there it is...gonna lay in bed and listen to more music, maybe play some Minecraft, maybe think about my girlfriend and masturbate. Whatever I do it will be amazing.

Maybe if enough of you tell me not to I'll never do this again.

The Most Lazy

I have been more lazy recently than normal, which is impressive (if you ask me).
I got paid 11 days ago and have not cashed my check yet. That's not to say I don't need to, in fact I really needed too, but instead of just waking up early enough to go to the bank before work, I've just been dipping into my savings and putting bills on my line of credit.
Nothing major or bad, and I'll be able to pay it all back when I get around to going to the damn bank.
I realized today that I get paid again in 9 days, i'm definitely going to try to make it until I get paid again before going to the bank, just for shits and giggles.

On top of that laziness I've had three compliments/comments about my beard in the last 24 hours.
I'm a hairy MF. (MF is short for Mother Fucker, just so I don't offend anyone).
I've been talking about getting a haircut for two or three weeks now...still haven't.

In short, I have no money and refuse to groom my body hair.
I also have the day off tomorrow and I plan on staying in my pajamas and watching television all day, I have much I need to get through: Newsradio seasons 4 and 5, Cheers seasons 4-11, Carnivale season 2, Deadwood seasons 2 and 3. Plus I want to watch The Pretender again...and maybe go through Scrubs.

Energy Solutions Arena stole all my energy.

The Woman and I went and saw Bon Jovi at Energy Solutions Arena last night (it will forever be The Delta Center to me). It was a great show.

Our seats were at the very top.....seriously..the very top. And those steps are steeper than normal stairs.
Made me realize I was very out of shape, which...I already knew, but now everyone I sat next to became aware.

In the end our sears didn't matter, we stood up most the concert and had a great time.

And now I blog about it on my new iPad
Because I loves it so damn much!!

Best thing ever!!!!

Blogging from my iPad! It's super delicious.
It's very pretty.
And surprisingly easy to type on.
I'm excited to waste all my time with this.

I bought GarageBand, and I'm ready to make lots of shitty music!

And I'm going to buy Brushes and make multitudes of crappy drawings.

And I'm going to browse ALL OF THE INTERNETS!!!

Every Damn Year

Every March 17, never fail, I forget about St. Patricks Day. You know why?...BECAUSE IT'S A POINTLESS HOLIDAY!!!

no one even knows why it's named after St. Patrick anymore. Especially people in the US. We have no reason to celebrate this day. Besides, it was originally a celebrated religious holiday for feasting...and not surprisingly that morphed into a day to get as drunk as possible, as fast as possible.

Any why the he'll does it matter I you wear green.
I rarely wear green. I have one green shirt, and it's ugly. So no...I'm not going to go out of my way to wear green on this particular day. Most of the time I totally forget.
And every year, because I'm not wearing green, people feel like it's their privilege to constantly remind me I'm not conforming, and threaten to pinch me.
They never actually do pinch. Mostly because I threaten them with worse physical violence if they were to. By it's a constant all day annoyance.

Does this really matter? Just go drink to your hearts content and leave me out of it.

--------

On a slightly less (but still very) annoying note.
I got two Fed Ex deliveries today. One was the HDMI connected for my iPad... And the other was the Orange Smart Cover for my iPad.
My iPad is still at least three days away : ( it's super frustratIng to get the accessories for my expensive new toy before even getting said toy.

padded!

Well, it's done.
The iPad 2 was released March 11th.
So I ordered one. I bought it online through Apple. Free shipping and free engraving.
16gb Wi-Fi version.
Black, with a bright orange cover : )
Along with spending money on the cover, I dropped a bit on the HDMI connector as well. So I'll be able to see ecerything from my iPad on my delicious TV.

And, because I named my iPod Desdemona...I was considering naming the iPad Ophelia, but maybe I should branch away from Shakespeare.

Anyway...four days later and this morning I finally git an e-mail confirming that my iPad has shipped. It's in China.
: ( anyway. It'll be here soon, and I'm crazy anxious for it to ge here. I've been watching way to many videos and reading so many articles about said iPad.

Caaaaaaan't waaaaaaaaiiitt!!!!!!!

uh oh...

They annouced the iPad 2 yeterday.





I spent over an hour watching the keynote speach, and was sadly more impressed than I should have been.

Yes there are flaws. not as much RAM as expected. And while it's exciting to get cameras for the new iPad, it's lame that they're the same crappy cameras on the iPod, not even close to comaring to the cameras on the iPhone 4.

The new cover is a great idea.

Also the adapter to connect and HDMI cable to the device is awesome! plus that adapter is compatable with the iPhone 4 and iPods 3 and 4.

All around...I geeked out over it.

over the last few years I've become a pretty big Apple fan.
Been using iTunes for along time now. had a couple of iPods.
I'll probably never own an Apple Computer, but I do really love the idea of a tablet. all the possiblities are great. I'd read the "newspaper" in tablet form. I'd probably write more (laptop is great fir that though), I've love to play with some art applications that are larger than the 3 inch screen of my iPod.

Basically...I think I'm going to buy one on the 11th when they come out.

My biggest concern was that I had previously deciced to blow my next paycheck on the Nintendo 3DS. this comes out on March 27th...so I had a crazy hard decision to make....then I realized...that if i just dont spend any money on anything else this month...I could probably buy both... Now I'm torn because I do want to start saving more money.
But i REALLLY like getting new toys : )