*cries*

Well, last night was the saddest night of my life.
Here's a breakdown.

9:30 pm: Chelsea and I left Coldstone Creamery and headed back to my apartment (I just needed to throw this part in because Coldstone Ice Cream is fucking delicious).
10:30 pm: it has been decided we shall watch a movie.
10:45 pm: movie has been picked.
11:00 pm: I decided to do a load of laundry before starting the movie.
11:06 pm: empty pockets and strip naked for to load washing machine.
11:10 pm: start washing machine.
11:15 pm: press start on movie.
11:20 pm: joyfully watching film with Chelsea. No worries.
11:28 pm: "where is my phone (iPhone 4S)?"
11:28 pm: instant dread.
11:29 pm: quickly look through every room in my apt.
11:31 pm: dread walking up to the washing machine.
11:32 pm: stop the washing machine.
11:32 pm: open the machine.
11:33 pm: found my iPhone 4S on the bottom on the washing machine sitting, totally immersed, in a couple inches of water.
11:33 pm: total breakdown.
11:35 pm: Chelsea is no longer sleepy, she's just trying to calm me down.
11:36 pm: give Chelsea the phone, start pacing the apartment.
11:38 pm: Chelsea googles things for me
11:40 pm: start frantically searching for rice. I even went upstairs and searched through my landlords kitchen frantically.
11:45 pm: Instant Message my friends frantically hoping they have rice.
12:00 am(ish): Kevin is a hero and arrives with the biggest bag of rice in the world.
12:15 am: commence drowning sorrows in a bucket of Coldstone Sweet Cream Ice Cream (this actually helps).
12:20 am: try watching a funny stand up special on Netflix (Craig Ferguson) in hopes to cheer myself up.
1:30 am: it didn't help.
1:45 am: bed/sleep.
10:00 am: alarm.
10:04 am: sorrow.
10:30 am: Ice Cream (this time it didn't help console me :( but it's still super delicious).
11:00 am - present: Sorrow.

Drunkard!!!

Actually, I'm happy that I'm the furthest thing from a drunkard ever. But that didn't stop me from getting drunk last night. I rarely get drunk, last night was the first time I'd been drunk in over a year. Sure I drink on occasion, in fact I often keep a few beers in my fridge just in case I need a relaxing night in from of a movie with a cold one. The party last night was awesome, it was definitely my kind of party. It was small, there were only about 8 of us, and I knew everyone there, one guy I had only met once before, but it wasn't hard to only have to meet one person. We all drank and chatted very comfortable with each other, it wasn't crowded or hard to feet around anywhere in the house, also there was no shitty music or half naked dancing....which, as awesome as that sounds, I've never participated in. Plus, I didn't drink too much, I drank quite a bit, got drunk, then stopped, didn't puke like some people did : ) My good friend actually got super wasted and puked in the chip bowl right in front of everybody...it was really pretty funny. I've kinda had a long week, partied three times this week, which is three times more than I have the past year. All parties I attended were for my friends who were visiting from out of state. It was super fun though, and I miss them already. Mostly I regret not hanging out with them more when they lived here.

Animorphs!

While camping with a bunch of friends this week, a few of us had the best conversation ever. We reminisced about the young adult sic-fi series Animorphs. I really like the series, but I never finished it. I remember that the books just kept comin out, and I didn't want to get involved with a never-ending series, also I sorta just grew out of it.
Well, I found out they did ultimately end the series after 54 books. And a friends stated that she recently just read through the whole series.

So...pushing aside all the books on my list to read I downloaded all 54 Animorphs books : D this is going to be a sweet week.

This post is not about Steampunk.

Had a depressing sort of realization moment.
For the past 4 years or so I've actively kept contact with some very specific people.
A handful of friends I've wanted to keep in contact with. probably a total of 5 or 6 people that I continually text, or email, or call one or twice a month at least. And they've all communicated back. we hang out every once in a while...

but I've stopped now.

Part of me just doesn't care anymore. They weren't going out of their way to keep in contact with me. And so why was I putting so much effort into this. It was obviously a lot of different reasons. Some were people I just thought were really cool. others we were once really good friends. a few were people I had a really big crush on and part of that never went away.

I believe part of why I stopped has something to do with Chelsea. I a good way I guess. I've spent the last three years dating her and continually convincing myself I don't want to get 100% attached. I don't want things to get too permanent. in the last three years I've broken up with her twice.
I love her to death, and I don't want to leave her, but I never wanted to close off any options.
The last few weeks, about a month or so I guess have been both amazing with Chelsea and pretty difficult for me. But the whole time I've loved it, She's been there for me, I've I want to be there for her.

I guess I'm sort of making this a bit of a bigger deal than it is just by putting it into words. And for all I know this whole post makes no sense.
In fact I'm not going to go back and reread any of this post because I'll be tempted to change or remove somethings.

Oh, and I bought some excellent Steampunk goggles that I'm excited to mod and make super cool.

I'm glad...

...glad that I have a few damn good friends.
In particular the one I would probably off hand call my "best friend" (even though I consider a few of my closest friends my best friends).
I am currently sitting in his room using his computer as he sleeps. It may only be 8:30 pm. but he had been awake since 3am after sleeping the day before. He has probably the worst sleep schedule I've ever known about.
Anyways I'm ridiculously thankful for him. He's a great guy. He's nice to everyone (to their face) and sometimes even too nice to the people he cares about. He's always been there for me.
More and more recently I spend the evening in his house simply because I don't want to go home. I feel so uncomfortable and often unaccepted at my parents house... and because he's awake at all hours of the night it's easy to just pop over for a few hours before going home.
He pretty much drops everything to hang out with me sometimes...even if I know there's something else he'd rather be doing.
And of course he's pretty awesome because for some reason he still likes me...even though I've broken more than a couple of his toys or pieces of furniture.